Café 458: Serving food while serving the homeless community

Our first day of service was at Café 458, a nonprofit restaurant affiliated with the Atlanta Self Sufficiency Center (ACSS). The café serves food to the homeless clients enrolled in ACSS programs Monday through Friday, and is open to the public on Sundays. All proceeds and tips collected on Sundays are donated to the program. Although I’ve never served food at a restaurant, I volunteered for the position on Sunday. As we tied on our aprons and learned how to interpret the acronyms on the order sheet, I felt more like I was playing a game than preparing to waitress for real. Then customers started trickling in, and I began to get a bit nervous. What if I spilled hot coffee on someone or messed up all the orders and the table left a bad tip? Then there would be less money going to ACSS because of me… The hosts escorted five people to sit at my first table. I realized just how difficult it is to keep orders straight, especially when they all come with options of adding sides like cheese grits and biscuits (yup, we’re definitely south of the Mason-Dixon line). I felt a bit flustered at first, but one of the customers at the tables was a director on the ACSS board and she was very inquisitive about Alternative Breaks and supportive of our group. I immediately felt much more at ease. It began to hit me that it didn’t matter if small aspects of the operation didn’t run perfectly. The overall mission of ACSS is to provide career and other services to the homeless so they can become self-sufficient and eventually be able to support themselves. As long we were there and encouraging people to donate to the mission, we were contributing to the cause. At each table I served, I explained that I was a volunteer and that all tips and proceeds went toward this cause. It was really heartwarming to see people leave 30% tips to contribute to this cause that is much larger than any of us. I enjoyed being a part of this larger mission, but it still felt foreign and romanticized since we hadn’t interacted with any of the homeless clients. Today, (Tuesday) we returned to the restaurant, but it was an entirely different atmosphere. We worked with a different set of volunteers and actually helped cook the food for the 30-something ACSS clients who came in to eat at 11 a.m. Before the clients arrived, I was again nervous, but for different reasons entirely. I was worried that I wouldn’t know how to interact with the clients or that I would say the wrong thing or accidentally act in a condescending way. Privilege and oppression were salient in my mind as we had spoken about them in last night’s reflection. Was it arrogant of me to think that I would make a difference by serving one meal to people who struggle with food insecurity? I’ve never had a day go by in my life where I’ve had to wonder if there would be dinner on the table. How would I be able to relate? Although I was ashamed to feel this way, I also admit I was scared. I knew that these clients were not only homeless, but dealt with mental or physical disabilities that would prevent them from working for long periods of time. I didn’t know what these disabilities would look like. I wondered if it were a possibility that a client would become violent or angry at me. Would they resent me for the position of privilege I have in terms of abilities? At 11 a.m. on the dot, clients began to enter the café. I was shocked at how they looked. I had imagined dirty, grungy individuals with torn clothing. But most were wearing clean, nice clothes and some even had additional possessions such as cell phones or backpacks. I served two tables and all of the clients were extremely friendly and grateful. I did not feel awkward or uncomfortable, as I had suspected I would. They weren’t scary. They weren’t violent. They were just people. People who life had dealt an unfortunate hand, but who were able to pick themselves up, brush themselves off and find a way to keep on making it through the day. They were gracious and kind, and above all, courageous. Several of the clients were talking openly and honestly with others about their situation, but without harping on their hardships. One man in particular stood out to me. He looked like me; if I saw him walking on the street, I wouldn’t think we were so different. When I served him his food, he smiled, and said “thank you.” I heard him laughing and chatting with others at his table with charisma and confidence. But he had once lost everything; his business, his family and his house. He considered taking his own life and even attempted it. He spoke of his gratefulness to be alive. He was sitting there, telling a complete stranger about the most vulnerable moments he’d endured and how he had very little on this earth, but it was enough to motivate him. And I thought to myself, wow, this man is braver than I have ever been. He’s dealt with hardship and extreme circumstances, but he’s not embarrassed of himself. He openly admits who he is and where he has struggled, and is only trying to move forward and break the cycle. I think that’s one of the most admirable qualities in a person--to know that you’re not perfect and that your life isn’t perfect, but to be able to say, “Hey, this is who I am and where I’ve been. I’m not ashamed of myself.” We can only grow once we accept ourselves, completely, as we are in this very moment. It’s ok to struggle; we learn from it and always come away from the situation with more knowledge than we had previously. Then with humility and compassion, we can share the lessons we’ve learned with others. We can still be warm and open with others, even when it’s terrifying because we’re at risk to get hurt. That’s what I learned from a kind middle-aged man with no house, no money, and no food. Melissa Major